Adventures in Fanfiction
by Q Illespont
Summary: Gosalyn discovers not all fansites are family friendly ...


ADVENTURES IN FANFICTION

By Q Illespont

All characters are property of their respective owners.

Gosalyn pulled a chair up to the desk and booted up the computer. She grumbled impatiently as the machine achingly ran through its startup procedures, and finally let her at itself. With long-practiced motions, she verified that the broadband connection was ready for her--her father naturally installed it for criminology research, and used it to access secure SHUSH databases when required. Of course, it also assisted in researching MP3 downloads, as she discovered a few days after discovering their faster connection. As well as game piracy, although this was discovered when wandering in her father's private directories on the computer.

Once the browser came to life, she started with her usual multi-vector attack on internet content. One tab ground along to bring up her MyQuack page, while another brought her own personal mail account to life. Paying attention to her dispatches in MyQuack, she saw one of her more random acquaintances ('GD00', from Duckburg) had sent her another message. He seemed quite friendly, although she was well enough aware of risks in meeting people. Granted, she thought to herself often, not many other kids could count on their family the way she can. Other parents would call the police--Darkwing Duck would, as he had times before, rescue her more directly.

She looked at the item. It was describing a site full of stories about superheroes, both real and fictional. Her friend warned her that not all of them were the best, but many were good quality stories. It was suggested one superhero fan to another--her interest in them was obvious even in public, between listing it as such in her profile and using the name 'CrimsonQuackette' as a throwback to her first attempt at crimefighting. She knew better than to try using her Quiverwing Quack identity, her father having impressed in her how important a secret identity is.

That, and fifteen other ducks had beaten her to it. Something she could jab her father with, as only two people had taken variants of 'Darkwing Duck' to use.

She quickly navigated over to the link, and followed it. The site was down, though, so she instead brought up the search engine Gaggle to try to find others. 'Hmm.."Quiverwing Quack stories" should get me some stuff,' she thought as she entered the terms.

She saw several sites listed in the results. After some difficulty finding items for an earlier science project, she avoided the top links and selected one from the lower part of the page, figuring that would be more likely to get her content. Gaggle had brought up a link directly to a story, as well as to the site, so she checked the direct story link first.

And then all hell broke loose around her.

---

Darkwing Duck, born Drake Mallard, yawned as he stirred from his sleep. It was getting close to when he'd have to prepare dinner for himself and his daughter, and he had to get dressed, work out, cook the meal, make sure Gosalyn wasn't up to anything, review the police blotter and crime databases.

Just another routine day for Saint Canard's guardian.

As he looked over his uniforms, selecting one for a little emergency repair (nothing like Bushroot's thorny vines to do in an outfit), a klaxon rang loudly. He winced at the sudden noise, then rolled his eyes as he recognised the signal. Figuring it was more of a Drake Mallard moment, he slid his pullover sweater on and headed to the small office he set up in his home.

As he walked in, he saw the alarms he'd set. While somewhat progressive in parenting, he still had some traditional urges, and one very traditional one was lights and sirens as an alarm system. These were flashing around the computer, and he walked over to see just what sort of things Gosalyn was trying to hide. Just to make sure she knew it was serious, he cleared his throat. 'Ahem, Miss Mallard. Mind sharing with your dear old dad what sort of deviant delights you've downloaded?' Even as 'Drake', he couldn't resist narrative-style alliteration.

Normally, when caught red-handed, Gosalyn would make at least some attempt to hide and form an alibi. Even when he found her downloading a bootleg of 'ArachnoZombies on Steroids VII', she at least minimized the window, although there was still enough proof of piracy. This time, though, she only stared confusedly at the screen. He saw it was just lines of text, although interrupted in many places with white. 'Gosalyn, what are you trying to look at?' he asked again.

Gosalyn finally turned to look at her father. 'I don't know! I was just trying to find stuff about me online and then your stuff started going off and this thing is just weird anyway!'

Darkwing furrowed his brow as he inspected the evidence. 'Oh dear,' he mutterred, then turned to his daughter. 'Gosalyn, how did you find this filth?'

'Filth? It's horrible and written like they're dumb, but there aren't any dirty words. I mean, there's gaps where they would--er, I mean, I don't know how they'd be used,' she tried to answer. Darkwing tapped his foot as he stared at her, and she gave up on covering. 'OK, I can tell it's weird, but what's with the alarms going off? I thought filters just blocked the g--er, the bad stuff?'

'It's my own custom program. Instead of going with select words, it peruses the entire text and parses the general theme of the work in question through a vigorous forty-nine question survey to see what it was written for and just what it is going to do.'

'Why can't you just use normal parenting filters?' Gosalyn asked. ('Especially since there's ways around it,' she thought to herself.)

'I tried. It kept blocking my research. Did you realise that some parents think any mention of multiple murders is inappropriate?'

Gosalyn shrugged. 'Anyway, one of my MyQuack buddies--'

'Not that guy from Duckburg?'

Gosalyn pouted. 'Yes,' she replied sarcastically, '"that" guy from Duckburg. I got a note with a site full of superhero stuff that I wanted to look over, but it was--'

'Full of filth, I know.'

'No, it was down for maintenance, Dad. I found this one on Gaggle.'

Darkwing frowned. 'Right. Like you can just browse over to something like this.'

'It's true!'

Darkwing disabled the alarm and looked through the history on the computer. 'Hmm.."Quiverwing Quack stories", eh? Story's holding so far.' He ran the search himself, and compared the results to what Gosalyn's history had come up with. 'Consistent, at least..hold the phone..' He looked closer at the link, and then turned the monitor. 'Gosalyn, don't look. I'll let you know if it's safe, OK?'

'"If it's safe"? Come on, you know I won't have a problem with it!'

'Nevertheless, it's up to me as your father to make sure you don't grow up with a demented and damaged psyche. You're still im--' He looked at Gosalyn's furious glare, and hastily edited in, 'er, a maturing girl, and I don't want to expose you to anything that might make you weird.'

'Weird? My dad's a superhero and in the time I've known you I've been threatened with death about a gazillion times and got rescued all those times and even had to rescue YOU a lot too!' she rebutted.

'Er ... right.'

Darkwing looked over the story Gosalyn had come across, in its unedited form. With the monitor turned, Gosalyn couldn't see the text, but she could see his reaction to it. He started with an intent look, that after a few minutes started turning to shock, and then quickly to disgust as he continued reading it. 'What, Dad? The last time you looked like that was during that movie marathon two months ago.'

No response. Gosalyn pried again. 'Um, Dad, hello?' Still nothing. Finally, she tried to climb up to read herself, only to be shoved away and onto the floor. 'Hey! What did you do that for?'

The shout brought Darkwing out of his trance, shaking his head back into the present. He looked at her sprawled on the floor, brought up a hand to help her up ... then winced, and reached to switch the computer abruptly off.

'Gosalyn,' he said after killing the power, 'we need to have a talk about stuff.'

'I didn't do anything wrong!'

Darkwing shook his head. 'No, you didn't, but I still have to ground you from the In--'

'WHAT?!' Gosalyn leaped up and brought her father's face down to hers by grabbing his sweater and pulling. 'You just said I didn't do anything wrong and now you're grounding me?!'

'I'm sorry, Gos, it's--'

'FINE!'

She released her hold and stormed out. Darkwing sighed to himself, and figured that the time for his hotheaded little girl to cool down to talk to would help prepare him for what he'd have to discuss. In the meantime, he had a special mission tonight to take care of.

---

Gosalyn sighed as she sat on the edge of the tower's outer walkway. Rather than look over the brightly lit Saint Canard skyline at night, her gaze went past her sneakers and to Audubon Bay, far below her.

'Lousy dad ... why's he gotta be like a mother hen? I'm not a little kid,' she mutterred to herself.

'Well, you haven't hit your first growth spurt yet--good thing, 'cause those hockey jerseys you like cost a bunch,' a voice retorted from behind her.

Gosalyn jumped and spun, fists raised to fight off an intruder, only to see her father in full costume. Unlike most times, he wasn't posed against the moonlight with cape and hat brim fluttering, but just walking to her. 'How'd you figure out I'd be here?'

'I know my little girl.' He smirked. 'For one, I know my little girl tends to wear size 4 crosstrainers, which left a nice clear imprint in the rug leading to the teleportation chairs.'

Gosalyn humphed. 'So you can track me down.'

'It's part of the job, tracking down people.'

'So what's my sentence gonna be?' she groused.

Darkwing sighed. 'Think we'd better have a seat, kiddo.' He sat down on the tower's edge, and motioned Gosalyn to do the same. Once they were settled, he turned to her. 'I wasn't trying to punish you.'

'You said I was gonna be grounded, Dad! Why?'

Darkwing replied, 'Just from the internet, and it's because it's safer in the long run. It's not what you did, it's what others want to do to you.'

'I can take care of myself! You even give me a hard time about GD00, and he's in the next state!'

'For all I know, "GD00" is trying to lure you into a trap. Know how mad you get when I'm walking into one and let my ego blind me to it?'

Gosalyn sighed. 'I know he's not.'

'And how do you know that?'

'Because he .. um ... he wouldn't.'

Drake sighed. 'I know. I checked.'

Gosalyn gaped as she turned to him. 'You tracked my friends down too?'

'I gotta, kiddo. How much do you know about him?'

'Well,' she began, 'he an' I like superheroes and work out ... he watches soap operas tho, dunno why.'

'She.'

'She?' Gosalyn looked to him curiously.

'Yeah. The "GD" stands for "Gandra Dee", an accountant over there with a weird thing for heroes. Can't say she's got the best taste in 'em, though.' He shudderred as he remembered the huge Gizmoduck wallpaper he found on her MyQuack page. 'She's also apparently happily dating another bean counter working for Scrooge McDuck, but you can't be too careful.'

Gosalyn sighed. 'See? Nothing to worry about.'

'Gos ... ' Darkwing sighed again. He'd always dreaded having to have a talk like this, and for years thought he'd escaped it. Then he adopted Gosalyn, and knew it would have to come. 'Dear ... you know some of the criminals I deal with. Murderers, thieves, kidnappers, arsonists. They don't all wear the costumes and capes, either--they just use guns and knives.'

'And that one missing section in your case file cabinet.'

Darkwing tried to hide his surprise. 'Wh-what section, Gos?'

Gosalyn kept looking at the bay. 'The "sexual assault" one.'

Darkwing winced and responded, 'I thought I had that locked up.'

'You do,' she answered. 'But you left the divider in the drawer. Then I got into the law library section to find out what it was talking about.'

Darkwing wilted. 'Yeah, that.'

'It's weird. And why did that writer hate me that much? He was making me weird, and that was before the stuff got blacked out!'

'Gos ... some folks just ... like hurting others. Including ... um ... that way,' Darkwing stammered. 'Even had to get a few of them. It's ugly.'

'I can stand up for myself, Dad. Are you sure you're not overprotective?'

Darkwing chuckled. 'Hey, I'm a father, I'm not.' He then pulled a copy of 'Fatherhood for Superheroes' out of his jacket, and consulted. 'See, this section here suggests making sure your new child is completely isolated from danger. And I'm not that bad.'

'Oh ... really?'

Darkwing nodded. 'For one, I'm letting my daughter sit on the ledge around the top of the towers on the Audubon Bay Bridge. And without a railing.'

Gosalyn snickered. 'Yeah.' She shifted her foot draped over the edge, and chuckled as her heel thumped against what felt like a metal mounting bracket. 'Really.'

'Yep, really.'

Gosalyn thought, then smiled. 'So ... to help me protect myself ... think you can get me some martial arts courses?' she asked.

'What?! You could get hurt, Gos. Trust me, I know how rough those are.'

'So you'd leave me a poor defenceless little girl?' Gosalyn tried pouring on the cute pout while asking.

'But ... but ... ' Darkwing stammered, then sighed resignedly. Then chuckled. 'Only you could look cute and innocent while asking to learn how to beat the tar out of evildoers.'

'So you'll let me sign up?'

Darkwing smiled and answered, 'Sure, kiddo. Think there's a good dojo somewhere around here--you won't be ready for Quack Fu for a while, but I think we can get you the basics.'

'Thanks, Dad,' she said, and hugged him tightly. Darkwing smiled and hugged his little girl to him.

'Oh, Gosalyn, by the way, I took care of that original problem, too,' he announced.

'How?'

Darkwing chuckled. 'Let's say that someone's going to have to get up from the crater--er, computer.'

Gosalyn giggled. 'That's my dad.'

---

Darkwing heard the door slam shut as he got out of bed. Another night to spend patroling the fair yet festering Saint Canard, but first dinner for Launchpad and Gosalyn, who he knew were just returning home.

As Darkwing strode downstairs, he looked at his darling daughter, and her lovely green eyes. And then noticed the mass of bruises on the left side of her face. 'Gosalyn? What happenned?'

'Um, Dad, I ... '

'Look, young lady, how many times do I have to tell you ... ALWAYS keep your guard up! I bet you're still trying to wind up that left of yours, right?'

Gosalyn glared back at him and said, 'I see you doing it when you fight, Dad!'

'That's different. It takes a lot more practice to get the quick focus while making sure your opponent isn't readying his own shot.'

Launchpad headed to the kitchen, shrugging as he heard father and daughter start dissecting the latest night. Like others, Gosalyn would boast of her victory, Darkwing would boast of his, they'd start competing, and it'd come to a spar, either between themselves or their respective Whiffle Boys. Electronic grunts of pain signalled that this time the computers would decide the victor. He chuckled and started the dinner that would no doubt be long forgotten by the time the two stubborn ducks finished their dispute.


End file.
